Eulogy

Delivered on Friday, Nov. 13, 2015, by Katherine "Katie" Simons Wilcox
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When I think of Elizabeth, my Auntie, a few words come to mind:

Thrifty
Feisty
Sincere
High-strung
Funny
Beautiful
Persnickety

And there are some words that would never come to mind:

Daredevil
Notorious
Foodie
Good dancer
Calm, cool, and collected

And in fairness, she had a few choice words for me as well:

Doll, as in “Be a Doll, and bring me a cookie.”
Or, Stinker, as in “You ate the last cookie? Why you little Stinker!”

She knew what she liked and what she didn’t like, and don’t ask her to try anything that might possibly fall somewhere in between.

She loved and lived fiercely.

Here are just few of her favorite things:

Her family and friends
Dessert—especially Angel Food Cake with strawberries
A good steak
Raspberries with sugar on top
Classic Coca-Cola
Mystery novels—especially the alphabet series by Sue Grafton
Volunteering at many community organizations
And visiting famous or historical sites

In restaurants, she’d order, “BLACK coffee” and heaven help the poor waitress who asked whether she took her black coffee with cream. “I already told her I wanted it BLACK!”

And we all know how she felt about being called anything but Elizabeth (although she did make an exception for “Auntie”).

She was the first in her immediate family to get a driver’s license and a car, which gave her a great sense of independence, responsibility, and accomplishment. And when I turned 15, Auntie insisted that I, too, learn to drive. I was ambivalent, but I got my learner’s permit as soon as I was eligible, and she and I set off for an empty parking lot in the Industrial Area to hone my skills before hitting the open road. I don’t remember her being unusually nervous at the time—she was always a bit high-strung—but after that initial outing, I soon found myself enrolled in Driver’s Ed. I don’t think I drove with Auntie again until after I had passed that class.

She was full of marvelous contradictions:

She loved to travel but didn’t especially like to fly
She loved sailing ships but never learned to swim
She didn’t like tight spaces or heights, but she once squeezed into a tiny elevator car at the St. Louis Arch for a 10-minute ride to the top, where she proceeded to take in the view by staying as far away from the windows as she could on the narrow observation deck.
She despised tomatoes but loved tomato sauce (with spaghetti and meatballs, of course)
She loved socializing with friends, but was often hesitant to make first contact
She wanted to be the center of attention, but didn’t want the actual spotlight

And she could be full of mischief. Her sister, my mom, Barbara, recalled a time when she was about 7 years old and Auntie was 14—supposedly old enough to be responsible for a kid sister. Supposedly. They were at loose ends one afternoon, so they took the bus downtown to the Meier and Frank Department Store—quite the adventure for two young girls at the time. When they got to the store, they went up to the Ladies’ department—my mom riding the escalator from floor to floor, and Auntie taking the elevator, scared to death that her kid sister was riding the escalator—and riding it by herself. (Escalators, as you might know, were not Elizabeth’s thing). In the Ladies’ department, the girls began trying on hats and posing in front of the mirrors. My mom remembers one hat in particular. According to her, it was UGLY with a capital U, and the two girls got to laughing so hard they drew the attention of an older woman nearby. “That’s MY hat!” the woman exclaimed. Mortified, the girls dropped the hat, fled the Ladies’ department, and hurried home to recount the tale to their mom.

Did I mention she liked collecting things?

Especially miniature shoes. As many of you know, she collected more than 300 tiny little shoes--that we know of. Once, while on a bus tour in Europe, she’d seen a miniature shoe in a store window, but the store had been closed. The next morning, she ran back to the store and purchased that shoe, when she was supposed to be assembling with the group. As I heard it, she briefly delayed the tour, much to the chagrin of the frazzled tour guide. But it was worth it because she got that shoe.

And more than 50 years ago, Auntie started my first collection: She began a tradition of giving me, and my brother, Bruce, a special ornament each Christmas. At first, I didn’t fully appreciate the tradition. But now, my Christmas tree is filled with ornaments she picked out, which ensures that I’ll be thinking of her each and every time I decorate my tree for years to come. You win again, Auntie. You get the attention, without the spotlight.

In recent years, it was harder and harder for Auntie to find anything approaching the “just right” Goldilocks range, as far as temperature, food, and just about everything else were concerned. Nothing was easy any more, and nothing was all that fun.

But every time her sister and I or one of her friends would visit, Elizabeth’s face would light up like a kid on Christmas morning. She was always so happy to see us. And it would break everyone’s heart when it was time to go.

And like many of us, she was obsessed with time and schedules. She loved to have a plan, and she always wanted to know what was scheduled and what we were doing next.

And now she knows what’s coming next.

In my mind’s eye, I see a beautiful blue-sky day, and she’s reunited with her mother, my maternal grandmother, the seamstress, whom she loved so dearly. I like to think her mother greeted her with open arms and a beautiful new handmade outfit for her to wear. It was cut from the finest, softest, most elegant silk. And when she slipped it on, it was like a second skin, it fit her to a T, and she felt nothing but love.

That is my wish for my beautiful, funny, persnickety, Auntie Elizabeth.

—Elizabeth's favorite niece, Katherine "Katie" Simons Wilcox, Friday, Nov. 13, 2015